Real-Life Decision Making
As a minister, you make many decisions; some major, some minor. All of
them require careful consideration, but it seems that little problems cause
the most difficulty for you. "Ministers most often get tripped up by the small
things," says Terry Dempsey. "They have a way of becoming a flash point."
This morning you counseled a couple who just lost their daughter in a tragic
fire. Somehow it wasn't difficult for you to think of the right words to say
to help them with their grief. You went on instinct and the words flowed out.
"It often isn't the big things that you have to decide how to deal with,"
says Dempsey. "Those are things that one can just do."
It's the smaller problems that cause trouble -- problems like this one:
the choir director moved away from your church last month. A new director
is now leading the church's small choral group. His tastes are radically different
from the last director.
"The choir liked music that was country and western, but the director liked
music that was a little more classical," says Dempsey.
You thought it would be refreshing for the choir members to be introduced
to a new director and his musical tastes. You thought wrong. They can't agree
on what material to sing.
You notice the conflict, but think it's a trifling concern. Surely, things
will work out for the best when everyone is exposed to new music. Besides,
neither the choir director nor anyone in the choir has mentioned anything
to you. You dismiss the matter.
A week later, Ernie, one of your parishioners, calls to tell you he thinks
the problem in the choir is serious. He wonders why you haven't done anything
about it. He warns you that conflict like this could tear the congregation
apart. But Ernie isn't even in the choir! On top of that, he's often the first
one to complain, and often without good reason. However, it's your duty to
make sure that things are running smoothly at the church.
You have a decision to make. Have you been making light of the situation?
Should you call up the choir members and the director to get to the bottom
of the problem? You could set up meetings and deal with this as a major conflict.
But the choir may view this as an unwelcome interference and
it may make the problems worse.
Or, because you haven't heard anything from either party involved, you
could continue to monitor the situation but not say anything until either
the director or a choir member approaches you.
What are you going to do?