Bruno Carchidi is a funeral director. He describes the purpose of the funeral
this way: "There are two sides to it," he says.
"One is that we do want to commemorate the death according to our traditions
and religions, and look after the deceased in the way that the family would
like us to. But the funeral service is there for the living, in any way they
want, to give assistance in going through the funeral rites. We will provide
that."
There's no doubt that the biggest part of a funeral director's job is dealing
with people. "I like being able to help people who are in such a difficult
time," says funeral director Don Moriarty.
"Even if you do the littlest thing to make it a little easier for them,
it's the greatest thing when they give you a simple thank you.
"Sometimes a death can be sudden, so the families are dealing with something
very new. You have to take them through it at their own pace so they can understand
what sort of services they'd like us to perform for them. It's very rewarding."
While parts of a funeral director's job are gratifying, other parts, such
as embalming and preparing the body, can be unpleasant. But some funeral directors
say those tasks aren't all that bad.
"Actually, it wasn't uncomfortable for me at first. I can't really explain
why," says Carchidi. "To some people, embalming is considered a science, because
they only see the preservation side of it. But nowadays, we almost look at
it as an art. You can make somebody presentable and peaceful."
That's important when a family may have last seen their loved one in pain
and agony, says Carchidi. Making the deceased look peaceful can ease the worry
and grief of the survivors.
It really is an art when you consider the fact that the funeral home gets
the body as is. An embalmer must make it look as it did when the person was
alive.
"We ask for pictures, so we have a better idea of what the person looked
like," says Carchidi.
"We ask people if the person had a dark complexion or a light complexion.
Things like that can help us make the person look more like they did when
they were alive." The process can involve hairstyling, make-up and reconstructive
work.
The end goal is to ease the client through the funeral process. The funeral
is for the living, to celebrate another life lived and to deal with the loss
of that life. It's clearly a very important job with great rewards.
People go into this career for a whole gamut of reasons. Nancy Stirling
is the executive administrator for a funeral service association. "For some
people, it's just something that they know they need to do," she says.
"It's just as simple as that. Others are in the field of caregiving currently,
so they know [about] dealing with people and dealing with loss with people.
For others, it's a family business."
Stirling has spoken with several students of the field. For the most part,
she says, "It's just something that has always intrigued them and they felt
that they were the right person for the job."
The number one quality of people entering the field, however, is not fascination
or curiosity. It's straightforward compassion. "The type of individual getting
into the industry has compassion for other people and [the ability] to put
their feelings aside," says Stirling.
For Virginia Herring Mahan, funeral direction was simply a calling. She
was born and raised in a funeral home because her family was in the business.
She always felt at home in that atmosphere and is now a licensed funeral director
in Washington.
"I think it's very rewarding," she says. "I think it's a calling. I don't
think everybody wants to do it or feels comfortable in it. But I think those
that are dedicated do it very well."